


Journals

by thealphagate_archivist



Category: Stargate SG-1
Genre: Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-03-23
Updated: 2006-03-23
Packaged: 2019-02-02 10:04:59
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,733
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12724512
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thealphagate_archivist/pseuds/thealphagate_archivist
Summary: Some diaries are just meant to be found.





	Journals

**Author's Note:**

> Note from the archivists: this story was originally archived at [The Alpha Gate](https://fanlore.org/wiki/The_Alpha_Gate), a Stargate SG-1 archive, which began migration to the AO3 in 2017 when its hosting software, eFiction, was no longer receiving support. To preserve the archive, we began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in November 2017. We e-mailed all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are this creator and it hasn't transferred to your AO3 account, please contact us using the e-mail address on [The Alpha Gate collection profile](https://archiveofourown.org/collections/thealphagate).

  
Author's notes: Warnings: Sex, language  


* * *

Daniel sat in a line of cars as it slowly advanced through the streets of Colorado Springs. He had wanted to hurry home, away from Cheyenne Mountain and away from Jack O'Neill, but instead he was stuck in the traffic crawl, in the freezing cold, snowy winter weather at the end of yet another crappy `Jack baiting Daniel' day. God, he wished the damn car heater would warm up quicker as he was freezing his nuts off. His nose must be turning blue, he thought, sniffing. 

Condensation run-off manages to be even more annoying down your nose than it is down a window. 

After reaching awkwardly into his pocket for a handkerchief, Daniel blew his nose then stuffed the now damp piece of cotton between his thighs. He knew he would need it again, and with ice forming on the road, he didn't want to risk driving outside of the dryish tyre tracks cleared by the vehicles in front of him.

It was always about this time of year that he wished he were still living on Abydos, where the climate was hot and dry. Conversely, when he had been there, he had sometimes wished for some kind of change in the weather, some relief from the parching desert heat and the sand paper abrasive winds. 

As the traffic slowed to yet another standstill, he sighed as he took in the dark night sky full of snow clouds, and the white flumes of streaming exhaust gases coming out of the cars around him. His mind recalled the events of the day at work; Jack being particularly irritating by closing him down during one of the regular briefing meetings SG-1 had with General Hammond, and by dismissing his ideas when Daniel did get a chance to speak. Jack's dismissive and patronising attitude had been needling Daniel for the past few months, and why Jack had changed toward him he just couldn't fathom.

The line started to move forward again dragging Daniel's concentration back to the task of getting home in one piece. Managing to find a parking space close to his apartment block, he retrieved his bulging briefcase from the back seat and made for the quiet calm of his own space. As he opened the front door to his apartment he was relieved to feel the warmth of the central heating wash over him. Dumping the briefcase on the floor, he quickly peeled off his jacket and scarf and made for the kitchen needing hot fresh coffee, and plenty of it. 

As he wrapped his hands around the comforting warmth of the hot coffee in his favourite `Smarties' mug, Daniel surveyed his living room whilst he waited for the oven to heat up. The two huge bookcases were crammed with books, journals, papers, rolled up maps and general academic paraphernalia, one of the wooden shelves was actually bowing under the weight of so much bound paper. He stood in front of a bookcase studying the contents, and saw his journals squeezed together looking in a rather sorry state. Putting down his half empty coffee mug, Daniel pulled out one of the black and red diaries and leafed through the pages.

"Colonel O'Neill thinks I'm a geek,"

He probably still does.

"I have no idea how to get us back. I'll never get paid."

Daniel turned a few more pages, frowning.

"Shau're is gone. Jack says we'll find her. If anyone can, he can."

Daniel dropped his head grimacing. Shit! He remembered how Jack had taken him under his wing, making him feel that somehow, someday, it would happen. 

Such a lot had happened since then. Shau're was dead and his friendship with Jack had evaporated in recent months, to the point where it was almost as dead as Shau're. Daniel shook his head and smiled ruefully. Wherever his thoughts travelled, they always came back to Jack.

Snapping the journal shut, he looked along the shelves again. 

"God, what a mess! I really ought to sort it out, maybe archive the oldest stuff," he said aloud. SG-1 was on stand-down for the next week, so this would be a good opportunity to do just that, though Daniel wondered if it wasn't so much archiving as `clearing out'. Clearing out his feelings about Jack more like.

Daniel padded back to the kitchen, threw a frozen pizza in the now hot oven and thought that whilst archiving his journals and other stuff, he could extract the factual material and write an overview of their missions. There were a number of themes that would be worth closer study and he could write them up like a thesis. Of course no one could read it, and if they did, he'd have to shoot them. Damn, another Jackism creeping into his personal dictionary. Daniel's journals had always been a mix of factual and personal observations, and if he could extract and separate, compare and contrast; maybe somewhere in these volumes he might be able to pinpoint what had happened between Jack and himself. He might even be able to find some explanation as to why their friendship had gone off the rails and, as it seemed to be currently doing, was careering towards a heap at the bottom of the proverbial ravine.

* * *

Jack glanced at his watch as he strolled through the hallways at the SGC. Twenty hundred hours and it was time to go home. Passing a couple of airmen talking together, he overheard part of the conversation.

"Seen the weather forecast for the next 24 hours?"

"Yeah, heavy snow; followed by a big freeze."

Smiling to himself Jack thought about the coming winter. Skiing! As long as his knees held up, he would be out on the slopes swishing his way through one speed thrill after another. Idly he wondered if he could get Daniel onto a pair of skis. If Jack couldn't get him fishing, maybe he could get him skiing. Or not. His good humour at the thought of spending leisure time with Daniel ebbed away as he got to his office. Why the hell would Daniel want to spend time with him, Jack had spent the last few months doing his best to distance his favourite archaeologist. He liked Daniel. A lot. In fact, a whole hellava lot. Too much to be healthy, that's for sure, he thought. The only way he could deal with his feelings for Daniel was to push them down, way down into the pit of his stomach, and by doing so push Daniel away, as far away as possible. His stomach clenched as he thought about it.

"That man's gonna give me an ulcer," Jack muttered as he closed his office door and slumped heavily into his chair. Resting his elbows on the desk, he ran his hands over his face then scrubbed them roughly through his greying hair. As he did so he caught sight of the piles of paper work spread around his office. There was a stack of files on one side of his desk, a pile on the floor, and a batch of plastic trays groaning under the weight of paper stuffed unceremoniously between them.

At least they're in `neat' piles.

He thought about calling in an airman to do the filing, being on stand-down would mean he could come back to a nice tidy office. Selecting a file at random, he opened it and stared at Daniel's hand-written notes scribbled in the margins of the word-processed document. Looking at the rounded flowing script in blue ink, Daniel's passion and humanity came right off the page and punched Jack on the nose. Shit! Would there ever come a time when Daniel wasn't uppermost in his thoughts? No matter how hard Jack had tried to distance him, there he was, solid and real and holding the tough USAF officer's heart in his hand. Jack sighed and shut the file.

Jack thought back to the eulogy he had given at Daniel's `funeral' when they thought he was dead, and he didn't have to search through any of the files to remember the words as they were carved into his soul. He knew they could never be erased. "Daniel Jackson made this place happen. As a member of SG-1 he was our voice, our conscience. He's a very courageous man. He's a good man. For those of us lucky enough to have known him, he was also a friend." 

What would he say, god forbid if years down the line, he had to do that again? Daniel's bright, intelligent, articulate, passionate, compassionate, funny (in a dry kind of way), strong, beautiful...beautiful? Where did that come from?

He thought for a moment, then stood up quickly, grabbed his keys and headed for the world uptop. He needed to get out, go home, and have a few beers and chill. -o-

Daniel sat on the sofa, a slice of gooey pizza in one hand and yet another journal in the other. He hadn't realised before just how much of his personal writings centred on Jack, virtually every page of every journal he had read so far mentioned him. Daniel wondered if someone else were reading these what impression they would have of Jack. 

Jack was like the halls of the SGC, painted a uniform military grey but here and there, peeling plaster or bubbles of paint that showed evidence of seeping minerals revealing different colours and textures. He presented a tough military exterior, but masked underneath was a complex man with deep-seated, ever-moving, vortices of emotions and feelings. He had an unconventional approach to life in the mountain and, more obviously, `out there' through the Stargate. Hell, Jack was the only man Daniel knew who could be close to insubordinate humour and serious intention all in the same sentence.

He did show episodes of his humanity though. He was really good with kids and had a connection with them that was rare. Daniel thought about how Jack had handled Charlie Two, the dog he had given Cassandra, and how passionate he had felt about enabling Merrin to have some kind of childhood albeit fleetingly.

Jack was strong both mentally and physically, a darned good strategist especially in the field, and he was brave. Daniel thought he was sometimes reckless and confrontational, particularly where they had come across injustice and smiled. All in all, Jack O'Neill was one heck of a man. Man, that word, man. He played the word over and over in his head. Man, male, masculine, virile, potent, manly, courageous, defiant, bold, game, chivalrous, hardy, confident, stalwart, warrior, combatant, assailant, aggressor, fighter, brawler, soldier. Jack was all of those, he confirmed, reaching for another pizza wedge.

Suddenly Daniel froze, his pizza halfway between the plate and his open and expectant mouth.

"Soldier! That's it. It's because he's a soldier."

Putting the pizza slice back onto the plate, Daniel grinned, stood up quickly, spun around, and took the few steps to his fish tank.

"I think Jack might just like me after all. In fact I think Jack likes me a lot. More than he's supposed to. We were good friends once. Close friends, he used to call me Danny. He didn't have a problem touching, embracing or hugging me then. Remember when I got shot up on Apophis's ship, when he had to leave me for dead? He held me so tight when we met up again. Remember? He scooped me up in a great big bear hug and God it felt good. To be held by him, to be the focus of his attention. Remember? Maybe that's why he's acting the way he is. If he wants me like I want him... He couldn't. Could he? He's in the military and soldiers aren't supposed to `like' other soldiers! Get it?" 

Daniel stared hard at the three goldfish swimming in the tank.

"Course you don't, you're fish. I must be well and truly loosing it," he groaned, slapping his forehead.

* * *

Jack snuggled down into his favourite armchair, a beer in one hand and the TV remote in the other. Switching through the channels, he didn't really take a great deal of notice of the images on the screen and dropped the remote in his lap whilst taking another swig of beer. His random surfing had turned up a music channel, and there in front of him were three young men with a young woman dressed in purple gyrating to some rock song. 

Their movements and the song grabbed his attention as the video played on. The main singer seemed to be ensconced in the back of a taxicab, and thanks to editing, had several changes of passengers sitting either side of him. Each set of passengers reached behind or in front of the singer, intent on a lip-locking clinch. "Envy, envy, enveeeee," the vocalist sang. As Jack continued to watch the high-energy images, he noticed that two of the passengers were men but the quick fire editing made it difficult to concentrate on these two particular protagonists. Jack sat forward in the chair, looking intently at the action on the screen. The two men were kissing! They were really going for it, and Jack found the whole thing fascinating, erotic in a weird kind of way, especially when he wondered if he would ever have Daniel in that kind of hold. 

As the song finished, Jack grabbed the remote and aimed it at the TV to switch it off, accidentally brushing his hand against his penis. The bright light of the screen made a snicking sound then disappeared, leaving the room, and Jack, in darkness. Shifting in his seat, Jack felt the beginnings of arousal in his groin. He closed his eyes and thought about the two men kissing in the music video, and then thought about him kissing Daniel. He imagined how giving, how soft, Daniel's lips might be, how responsive and yielding the younger man's body would feel in his arms.

Jack's mind was running in erotic overdrive now, his imagination generating a whole range of different scenarios in which he successfully seduced Daniel each time. As his thoughts raced, Jack's body and mind became increasingly aroused and heated, stiffening his cock and making his breathing loud and irregular.

Unzipping his flies, Jack released his cock slowly wrapping his long fingers around its engorged length, stroking and pulling at it firmly. He imagined kneeling behind Daniel, his cock filling Daniel's ass and his hands planted firmly on his partner's hips. His mind's eye saw Jack thrusting hard, his buttocks moving back and forth in undulating movements, and Daniel's back arching in response. As his imaginary fucking strokes increased in speed and intensity so did his hand. Jack's ass clenched and unclenched, and he felt his balls tighten as he came explosively in his hand shouting Daniel's name, as much in need as in pleasure as he climaxed. 

He relaxed back into the armchair, his chest heaving and eyes still closed. He wanted to throw up, not because of what he had just done, or the reasons for doing it, but because of the infatuation of his mind and the total sum of his unfulfilled reality. -o-

Over the next few days Daniel set about archiving his diaries, and weeding out his least used books and academic journals. He had already contacted General Hammond to ask if he could have the use of a small storeroom, preferably one with strong shelves. An airman had delivered a dozen large packing cases and Daniel was quite happily filling them, slowly and carefully, and indexing the contents of each box. By the third day he had managed to clear almost half a bookcase. 

It was late afternoon and it already dark out, the weather was closing in again and there had already been several snow flurries during the day. 

He glanced at himself in the mirror, and found an extremely dirty and dust-ridden archaeologist in a loose grubby shirt, blue denim cut-offs and a red bandanna, looking back at him. He sneezed and figured it was time to stop and tidy up, take a shower and maybe go out for a bite to eat. 

As he dragged out the hoover, Daniel noticed it was now snowing heavily and on reflection decided he wouldn't bother going out to eat, he would just raid the freezer again and plant himself in front of the TV. With any luck, there might be a bottle wine at the back of the kitchen cupboard and he could unwind and try and forget; forget all the references to Jack he had found in his journals. The references that were stimulating his dreams over the past few nights, that is, stimulating his very wet and torrid dreams...

* * *

Over the next few days, disconcerted by his erotic imaginings about Daniel, Jack had gone to the base looking for a distraction. He'd found out Daniel was doing some serious paperwork and reorganising at home after seeing the airman being despatched with the packing cases.

Jack wondered if Daniel might want some help with furniture moving or even redecorating. God knew the apartment looked like the inside of a museum and, in Jack's opinion, was in desperate need of a make over. Jack didn't really care whether Daniel needed help or not, as a result of his wanking session he just wanted to be near Daniel. He wanted the additional proximity of the man, the kind of proximity that his imagination couldn't deliver.

* * *

Daniel stood with his head in the freezer, debating what to have for supper. Perhaps I should've got dressed before I opened the freezer; it's damned cold standing here. It wasn't surprising that Daniel was feeling uncomfortable as having had his shower; he only had a white towel around his waist knotted at his right hip. But he was really hungry and figured if he got the food started, it would be cooking while he got dressed. He stared hopefully at the contents of the freezer. The top shelf yielded the debris of small shards of broccoli leaves encrusted in ice that had escaped from a long since removed packet. He pursed his lips as he pulled out half a packet of frozen peas that made a crunching sound as he dumped it on the counter, and some mushrooms and a small container of sliced capsicums he found right at the back. Next, he moved his foraging skills to the fridge and discovered three eggs and a small piece of cheese. He glanced in the vegetable rack and retrieved a solitary onion with small green shoots. Looks ready to plant he thought, figuring he could just cut out the struggling new growth and discard it.

This was the problem with spending so much time in the mountain; he nearly always ate in the commissary or relied on takeaways. Field rations were okay but somehow they always tasted of chicken. Generally, he didn't need to bother catering for himself, but now he was at home and restricted by the weather, the lack of serious food shopping had come back to bite him in the ass.

Just as he was deciding he would make a mushroom, pea, onion, cheese and capsicum omelette, the doorbell rang, and not thinking about his lack of attire, he went to open the door.

Eyes widening and mouth opening, Daniel stared at the figure framed in the doorway. It was Jack, smiling and holding up two large brown paper bags.

"Hey, wondered if you might want to share a Chinese."

Frowning momentarily, Daniel wondered if he should grant entry to the man who had spent the last few months making his life hell. As he hesitated, he could smell the seduction of the hot Chinese food wafting under his nose, and his traitorous stomach grumbled loudly.

"Sounds like you could do with eating right now, Daniel. How about it?" Jack went on, his cheery voice failing to cover up his need for the other man's companionship.

The smell of the food beckoned Daniel's taste buds and he stood aside to allow Jack access to his apartment, feeling that somehow he was being baited, caught and reeled in. Smiling to himself though, he wondered if this might be hook, line and sinker time... for both of them. Having done with the fishing metaphors, Daniel led Jack into the living room.

"So, Daniel."

"So, Jack."

Jack could be so predictable sometimes, thought Daniel. He raised his eyebrows as if asking, "Yes Jack, what do you want to say/do/play/insult?" Jack got the hint.

"See you've been busy," Jack went on, putting the bags down and waiving his arms expansively.

"Yeah, I'm trying to archive some of the older stuff to make room for the new. Thought I might do some redecorating while I'm at it."

"Want some help?" Jack interjected quickly, his expression nonchalant. Daniel frowned and sucked on his bottom lip, wondering why the offer in Jack's voice didn't fit the look on his face.

"Ah, thanks Jack but I,"

"That's okay, I was just offering," Jack replied, a little disappointed.

"No, I was going to say, `Thanks Jack but I haven't decided what to do with the room yet'."

"Ah," Jack smiled, looking around as a way of avoiding eye contact and trying to take back his obvious keenness to help Daniel.

"So," Daniel repeated, his eyebrows questioning Jack's real intentions for calling.

"Food, Daniel, we need to eat before it goes cold."

Daniel gathered plates and cutlery from the kitchen, and placed them on the coffee table. Neither he nor Jack were ones for formal eating arrangements, both preferring the amiable informality of the armchair and lap.

As Daniel placed the cutlery on the table he dropped a fork. Bending his knees to pick it up, the towel around his waist gaped and he revealed a firm rounded buttock and muscled thigh for Jack's delectation. Jack sucked in an audible breath that caught Daniel's attention and made him look up through his eyelashes at an awe-struck USAF officer with his defences down. So, you like what you see Colonel - that's interesting!

Jack coughed, trying to disguise his vocal appreciation of Daniel's very attractive physique, and Daniel glanced down at the towel then smiled knowingly at Jack. Looking away from the almost naked younger man in front of him, Jack proceeded to take the food cartons out of the bags trying desperately to hide his embarrassment at letting out that sound so readily. Daniel wondered whether he should just untie the knot in his towel and go for broke but decided against it, thinking he could really enjoy the slow, flirting, seduction of his commanding officer.

"I'll just, y'know, get dressed," Daniel said softly, smiling as Jack turned to look at him.

"Whatever," Jack replied trying very, very hard not to look interested, or make a lame joke about seeing it all before. As Daniel walked away from him, Jack just had to watch those swaying hips and tight curved buttocks, mesmerised by the younger man's body. When Daniel was out of sight, Jack puffed his cheeks and blew out slowly, feeling just a little guilty at his predatory response, and thinking that being here might not be such a good idea after all. 

Both men spent an amiable but guarded hour eating, drinking and talking. They talked about what Daniel could do with his living room, about their last mission, about their favourite foods and about their school days. In fact they talked about everything except why their friendship was on the rocks and why, after so long, Jack appeared to be offering an olive branch. To top it all, both of them were giving out tiny almost imperceptible signs of flirtatious interest in each other.

Daniel cleared the table and dragged it to one side of the room, spreading out a few sheets of flip chart paper in the space it left. Throwing some marker pens down on the floor beside the paper, Daniel lay on his front staring at it. Intrigued, Jack lay on his side next to Daniel, and crooking his elbow to rest his head on his hand, watched the bespectacled academic as he slid into lecture mode. 

"This is the living room," said Daniel, carefully drawing a rectangle along the inside edge of the paper. Jack nodded studiously, trying to bury a guffaw. "This is the fireplace, the window and the door," Daniel went on, neatly building a pretty accurate floor plan of the room. Though Jack marvelled at Daniel's technical drawing skills, he wondered what the point of the exercise was supposed to be.

"Daniel, why are you drawing what's already here? Surely, the point of a floor plan is to start blank and fill it in according to how you want it to be? Not how it is at the moment."

"I know that Jack but I'm going to use some thinner paper to lay over the top. That way I can try out different ideas without having to draw the basic plan each time. It helps to see how things fit."

With that, Daniel returned to drawing the current layout of the room. Jack was beginning to get bored now, Daniel was brilliant at whatever he turned his mind to but he could also be very pernickety. Daniel liked the minutiae and Jack liked the bigger picture. When they were on missions together this combination worked very well, most of the time.

Jack shifted closer to Daniel and reached across his back to pick up a marker pen for himself. Daniel could feel Jack's hot breath against the back his neck and it gave him goosebumps. Suddenly every nerve in his body was twanging as he felt the weight of Jack's arm over him. Jack took his time reaching for the pen, retracting his arm slowly and brushing his hand across Daniel's butt. 

Daniel turned his head towards Jack and blue met brown. Their peripheral vision receded to a blur and all they could see were each other's eyes, Daniel trying to read Jack's and Jack trying to read Daniel's. Both felt the frisson of arousal from their close contact but, grinning, Jack broke the spell as he yanked the top off the pen with a flourish. Was that a come on? Did Jack just make a pass, or am I imagining things?

While Daniel was trying to figure out what was going on, Jack drew some lines in the middle of the paper.

"Jaaaack?"

"Mmm?"

"Are you drawing noughts and crosses on my floor plan?" 

"Yep."

"Why?"

"I'm bored. Can't we play something else?"

"Like what?"

"Truth or dare?"

"Huh?"

"Y'know, we tell each other something and the other one has to decide whether it's true or false. If it's false, the liar has to pay a forfeit."

"But how do I know whether you are telling the truth? You could say it's true and still be lying."

"Danny, don't over analyse!"

"You called me Danny."

"So, and, but, therefore?"

"You haven't called me that for a very long time."

"Yeah, well, maybe it's time I did."

"Why?"

"Why?"

"Yeah, why?"

"Why not?"

"Jack!"

"Daniel!"

"I prefer Danny." 

"I know."

"Why did you come here tonight?"

Oh, to seduce you with any luck.

"Because I thought you might want some help."

"No, that's not it. Come on, tell me."

"There's nothing to tell." "I don't believe you."

"Okay so you don't believe me. That means I have to pay a forfeit."

"That means when you said there was nothing to tell, you were lying Jack."

"Maybe, maybe not."

"Stop being so evasive dammit!"

"Daniel, stop over analysing."

"Have we started playing yet?"

"What do you think?"

"For fuck's sake Jack, I can't play this game anymore."

"C'mon, don't be such a spoilsport. We've only just started."

"No we haven't, this game started a long time ago. Remember?"

"I haven't got a clue what you're talking about Daniel."

"It's easy. Boy meets boy, they become friends, boy starts to pull away from boy, plays dirty and they're not friends anymore. Boy brings Chinese food offering and... And... And how does it end Jack?"

By now Daniel was angry, he felt Jack was just playing with his emotions like a cat playing with a mouse. His original idea was to seduce Jack, to try and close the gap. To make their relationship fun again, work again, and make it more than it ever was before. Instead Jack had flirted outrageously then started playing word and mind games. Glaring at him, Daniel stood up and strode purposefully to the kitchen to make coffee. Jack followed, alarmed that he might have gone too far.

"Daniel, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to upset you."

"When Jack? When?"

"Huh?"

"When didn't you mean to upset me? Months ago when we stopped being friends, or just now when I thought we could be friends again? You're still playing games!" Daniel's voice raised a decibel and he banged the coffee mugs on the counter.

"I didn't mean to upset you period. When friends get close in our line of work, well it can get dangerous."

"Don't give me that Jack, you're just making excuses. That's not the real reason at all. Out with it, tell the truth for once."

"Hey that's not fair, and you know it."

"What's not fair? Not telling the truth? Or just lying?"

"Maybe I should go."

"No! You don't go until this is finished."

The two men stood nose-to-nose and toe-to-toe, squaring up to each other; Jack with hands on hips, Daniel with folded arms. 

Jack broke the tension first.

"Y'know. Sometimes not telling the truth is better for everyone."

"How?"

"Because telling the truth makes you vulnerable. That's how."

"And why is that a bad thing between friends?"

"Because sometimes telling the truth changes the nature of the friendship Danny." 

Daniel studied Jack's face, the genuine sincerity almost too painful to see. The bright archaeologist had a good idea what was being said, and what was being left unsaid. He nodded slowly and Jack started to relax not realising Daniel hadn't finished with him yet.

"So. Jack. Changing the nature of the friendship. From what to what?"

"Jeez Danny don't you ever give up?"

"Not if it's worth saving, no."

"If what's worth saving?"

"Us. Our friendship. Isn't that what you're talking about?"

"Yeah sure it is." 

Daniel wasn't sure that Jack's answer was entirely honest. It wasn't that he didn't believe that Jack wanted to mend their friendship; he just felt there was more that Jack wanted. After all he'd sent some pretty strong signals earlier on.

"So, Daniel."

"So, Jack."

"We okay?"

"Maybe."

"Maybe? What does that mean?"

"Look, the last few months have been difficult, you've been acting like a jerk and I don't know what I've done."

"You haven't done anything Daniel, it's me."

"What about you?" 

"Let's just leave it. I don't wanna talk about this anymore. Let's get back to the floor plan."

"Okay." 

Daniel had stared at Jack for a long while before answering. Even though he didn't feel entirely satisfied, he felt they had gone some way to resolving whatever it was that had pushed them apart. He was very sure that Jack wanted him, and not just in a `friendship' way. He also figured Jack knew this but just couldn't say it.

The two men resumed their positions on the floor, with Daniel working on various sheets of paper and Jack throwing in his suggestions. Occasionally Daniel would play noughts and crosses to pacify Jack when he got silly, and Jack would try and be constructive when he did make suggestions; not that the suggestions he made were really the suggestions he wanted to make.

As the evening wore on they positioned and repositioned themselves on the floor and around the paper, performing some kind of careful, detached choreography that kept them within inches of each other but never touching. If the truth were told, they were both flirting, enacting a kind of `seduction at ten paces' ritual. The atmosphere between them was charged and tense, and excruciatingly arousing.

Once or twice when pointing to something on the paper, Jack's shoulder would brush Daniel's arm, and more than once Daniel's hand had touched Jack's. All of these touches were brief and softly gentle with just the slightest hint of what could be. Should either of them let it.

After the fourth round of coffee, Jack thought he really should go home as it was well past midnight and the perpendicular falling snow had swiped sideways to a horizontal blizzard. Not only that, but being in such close proximity to Daniel for the best part of four hours now, was driving his libido up the wall, across the ceiling and back down the other side. Problem was, he was just too damned scared to put any of his imaginary seduction scenarios into practice. Having got their friendship somewhere near normal again, he didn't want to jeopardise it even though he so wanted to move on to another level.

Daniel got up off the floor and stretched, his jumper riding up to reveal well-contoured abdominal muscles and a fine line of hair pointing south from his navel.

Jack's eyes widened at the sight and he groaned softly. Daniel didn't appear to hear and Jack struggled upright, rubbing his hand over his face and mentally kicking himself, hard.

"Jack, I think you should stay for the night."

Jack couldn't believe his ears or his luck. Was Daniel giving him a direct invitation to stay and ravish the hell out him?

"The weather is too bad to drive anywhere tonight. Look at it!"

Jack sidled up to Daniel and the two men stood side by side, staring at the atrocious weather from the window.

"I'll be okay, I've got four wheel drive and snow tyres. It won't be a problem."

"No, you should stay. Your truck and snow tyres won't help you if you get stuck in a drift or under a tree. Stay Jack, the snowploughs will be out and you'll probably get a clear run tomorrow. Please?"

"Alright, I'll stay," Jack replied a little too quickly.

"You have my bed and I'll take the sofa."

"No you won't. I'll be just fine here," smiled Jack, waiving at it.

"No, it wouldn't be right. You're my guest so you have the bed."

"I don't want it!"

"I don't care, you're having it!"

They both laughed, and Jack leaned into Daniel still grinning, "Why don't we share?"

"Wha, what?"

"C'mon, we've shared often enough on missions, it's no big deal."

Daniel had that hook, line and sinker feeling all over again. Did Jack just manipulate him to get to this point? Damn! I wanted to do that.

* * *

They looked at each other across Daniel's enormous bed.

"Your bed is the size of small African country. Did you know that?" Surveying the acres of white cotton and quilted cover, Jack started to slowly unbutton his shirt.

"Um, I've got an old t-shirt and sweat pants if you want them," Daniel offered quickly, suddenly feeling embarrassed and uncomfortable. Jack wanted to say he would be fine sleeping naked, in the buff, in the raw, nude, bare, unclothed, uncovered, exposed, undressed, stripped, open, showing, unfastened, undefended, open to attack. Oh god, yes please!

"Right, yeah thanks," Jack said instead. Damn!

Unusually they turned their backs on each other to get undressed, both sitting on opposite sides of the bed with Daniel thinking how weird the situation was getting. They both wanted each other, but neither was prepared to do anything about it.

From where Jack was sitting he could see Daniel's reflection in the mirror, and he watched surreptitiously as the younger man pulled on a pair of loose fitting shorts and a black singlet. Bending down to pick up his clothes, Daniel padded to the bathroom. Fuck! Jack glanced at his lap; his cock was standing proud and expectant.

Having got into bed they both shimmied to their respective edges, the sum of the total surface area stretching out between them greater than their individual parts of the bed. Daniel reached out and switched off the bedside light and the dark and the silence enveloped them both. Jack was finding it hard to relax, somehow this situation did not figure in his Daniel seducing scenarios, and turning over he sighed loudly.

Remaining still and quiet, Daniel was thinking about the man lying within three feet of his body, within reach of his hands and his lips.

* * *

Jack slept fitfully, and around 2am got up and moved silently to the kitchen. After filling a glass with water, he wandered into the living room, switched on a sidelight and noticed one of Daniel's journals on the floor next to the half-empty bookcase. He picked it up to put back on a shelf, as a piece of paper slipped out between the pages fluttering slowly to the floor, like a single snowflake. Gathering it up in his fingers, Jack glanced at the sheet to see Daniel's handwriting again. Fascinated by the curvy round letters and the even form of the words, Jack took a closer look.

"Jack looked good today, he has such a physical presence that I can't help being attracted to him. I wonder if there will ever be a time when I will be able to show him how I feel? Will there ever be a time when he might be interested in me? I doubt it somehow; far from showing any interest he seems bent on destroying our friendship. I just wish I knew why."

Jack scrutinised the text over and over, shocked and upset by Daniel's candid confession. He hadn't realised how bad an effect his distancing strategy had been on Daniel, but maybe now, he could try and make it up to him. Jack made a momentous decision right there and then. There would be no more denial of his feelings, any more denial of Daniel's feelings. This was it!

Jack crept back to bed and lay still for a few moments, thinking. He could hear Daniel's slow regular breathing and knew he was asleep. He smiled to himself in the dark and gently rolled over on his front, taking up the space between them. Daniel was sleeping on his back, his head turned towards Jack. Lying close to his sleeping linguist and slipping his arm gently across his chest, Jack placed his lips close to Daniel's ear. Jack breathed in deeply, appreciating Daniel's scent, and with feather light strokes, ran his tongue around that cute little earlobe. Stirring, Daniel shifted and moved onto his side, away from Jack. 

Spooning up behind the still sleeping Daniel, Jack could feel his cock begin to stiffen again, stimulated by the close contact of their warm bodies. Jack wrapped his arm around Daniel's waist and buried his face in his hair. If nothing else happened, ever, Jack knew he could be happy. Sighing, he kissed the back of Daniel's neck, content and sleepy. 

Opening his eyes, Daniel felt Jack close up to him, kissing the back of his neck. He held his breath for a moment, taking stock of his situation. 

"Jack?" he whispered, wondering if his bedmate was fully conscious of what he was doing.

"Mmm?"

"Are you awake?"

"Ah ha."

"Oh."

"What's up?" Jack asked, not moving.

"I am."

"Huh?"

Taking Jack's hand from his chest, he guided it slowly down his body to his semi-hard cock.

"Ooh Danny," Jack crooned, rubbing the palm of his hand over Daniel's cock, "You okay with this?"

"Absolutely," purred Daniel in return, a hitch in his throat.

"Good, cos so am I."

"Really?"

"Yasure yabetcha!"

"Well, it's about time, Colonel!"

"Hey, I might be a little slow to start with, but you'd better hang on to your boots Bookboy cos I'm on it now!"

"Bring it on, Flyboy!"

"C'mere Danny, I wanna feel your lips on mine."

Daniel performed a turn and pin-down move so quickly that he took Jack's breath away. Running his tongue along his partly open lips, Daniel kissed Jack slowly and expertly, penetrating his mouth fully. Jack responded, from his head to his toes, kissing Daniel back like his life depended on it. Suckling Jack's bottom lip, Daniel raised himself up on his hands and reached over to the bedside lamp, switching it on and staring at the illuminated man beneath him. 

"God Jack, I never thought this would happen, you in my bed I mean."

"It's a surprise to me too, but I'm not complaining." With that, Jack reached up, his hands resting on the back of Daniel's neck. "Do that again," he smiled, his voice husky and needy.

Daniel sank down to within a hair's breadth of Jack's mouth, reaching out his tongue and repeating his lip locking kiss, eliciting a moan from his friend, companion, acquaintance, chum, confidant, playmate, associate, comrade, buddy, partner. Partner, would Jack be his partner now?

He moaned again and Daniel sank his teeth into Jack's shoulder. Jack grabbed Daniel's upper arms and turned him on his back, ravishing his lips, forehead, cheeks, eyelids and neck. Daniel lifted his hips and rubbed his cock against Jack's, revelling in the delicious feelings shooting through his body.

"God, you feel so good Jack, so..." 

Jack stopped Daniel's mouth with his lips and tongue, running his hands across his chest and pinching his nipples, making him gasp through the kiss. In turn, Daniel stroked Jack's flanks and back, kneading his buttocks and pulling him closer still. Yanking his t-shirt up over his head, Daniel swirled his hot tongue against Jack's bare chest. Quickly they shed their clothes, peeling, pulling, twisting and hauling the last barriers away from their desperate and hungry need to feel naked hot skin.

"You sure you want this, want me?" Jack asked, almost inaudibly.

"Yesss," hissed Daniel, moving his hand between them, searching out Jack's very hard cock. Pulling and stroking, he left Jack in no doubt that he did want this, and did want Jack. Daniel spread his legs, inviting Jack to settle between them and as he did so, Jack slid his hand under his pillow and pulled out a tube of lube.

"Where the hell did that come from?" Daniel asked, both surprised and pleased.

"I'm a fully paid up Boy Scout Danny, y'know, always be prepared!"

"You planned this didn't you?"

"I was hopeful, just hopeful."

Jack spread the clear gel over his fingers and went to work on Daniel's tight puckered rim, slipping in his index finger slowly and gently, sending his lover on a flight to ecstasy. Daniel's skin was hot and exquisitely sensitised to Jack's touch, his body compliant and acquiescent. Jack slipped another finger inside, Daniel arching his back in response. Scissoring and stretching, Jack penetrated and explored Daniel's inner core slowly and gently, setting up a sensuous and erotic partnership between his probing fingers and his questing lips.

"Fuck me, Jack, please," uttered Daniel, his need and desire careering off the chart.

As Jack gave him the lube, Daniel spread it slowly and teasingly over Jack's cock, eliciting groans, moans and growls, and the movement of Jack's fingers became more explicit, stroking Daniel's sweet spot and sending him spiralling amongst the pillows. 

"Jack...whoa!"

"Good?"

"Ahhhh, like that, again, again!" 

"Make ya wanna come do I?"

"Christ Jack, just there, yesss."

Daniel didn't let go of Jack's lubed cock, but held on firmly pulling and stroking, and spinning Jack's brain cells like some kind of candyfloss on a stick. 

"Danny?"

"Oh god, yes Jack, please."

Jack nudged the head of his cock against Daniel's entrance, and pushing slowly, howled at the tight hot sensation as he slid into his lover's yielding and enveloping ass. Daniel's breath hitched and gasped as Jack stretched and filled him, sending arrows of white-hot lightening searing through his body.

They moved in unison with rhythmic, undulating movements that sent every nerve ending zinging and vibrating as they careered towards orgasm. Daniel's hand worked his cock harder and faster as Jack's deep penetrating thrusts drove them inexorably closer and closer to the edge. 

"Daniel, I'm gonna come, I can't hold back, please."

"Come for me Jack, give me everything you've got."

Jack rammed hard and fast, exploding inside Daniel who erupted over his hand and both their abdomens, spurting his hot white sticky fluid to mix with their sweat and pubic hair.

They separated, panting and grinning. They flung their arms around each other and kissed all over again, confirming for each other, that everything was right and good about their newfound relationship.

As they lay together, recuperating, Jack had a confession to make. "Danny?"

"Mmm?"

"I have something to tell you."

"Oh god Jack, what?"

"Earlier, when I couldn't sleep, I found one of your journals in the middle of the living room floor."

"And?"

"And when I picked it up a piece of paper fell out I read it Danny, I'm sorry. I know it's personal. I didn't mean to."

"But you read it anyway?"

"Yes."

"What did it say?"

"It said that you wanted me, and that you hoped I wanted you, but because I was being such an idiot you thought we would never get together."

"I wrote that?"

"In so many words. The point is, you wanted me and I pushed you away. I am so sorry."

"So, besides feeling sorry, what else did you think?"

"It made me decide that I wanted you more than anything, and that's why I came back to bed. To make love to you."

Daniel said nothing, and Jack looked at him anxiously wondering what on earth he must be thinking. Eventually, Daniel responded.

"You look at my journal and read my private thoughts."

"I couldn't help it Danny, honestly."

"That's what I like about you Jack, you can be so predictable."

"What?"

"I knew that if I left that journal where you'd see it, you're curiosity would get the better of you."

"You left it out on purpose?"

"Of course I did. How else were we going to deal with the things we both wanted to talk about, but couldn't? The pen is still mightier than the sword Jack!"


End file.
